Smallest things create Largest effect in Marriage!!

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my wor
ds, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Courtesy: Anonymous..

Welcoming Two Thousand and Fourteen - Don't tell me You're just a Dream!

~ me with you..
and everything is new!!
*New-Years Eve 2013-2014*

'tmhy neend aegi ab na myry bin..
mjhy hai yaqeen aesa aega ek din..
......
.....'

and it continues...
that affectionate voice with affable attire..
what is happening to me?
what's new in this?
I've a gregarious persona...a track of immense social indulgence..this should not be affecting me like this..
but i was in a trance..i accept..a state of a enticingly ravish ecstasy..
was completely unable to differentiate..what actually is affecting me so bad..
his enchanting vocals?
or his amiability?
those jocular chuckles?
or was it the ambiance?
his vigilance towards the crowd?
or playful attempts to make me shy?
however whatever it was..
i must say..
i was lost into it...
Is this a reality? an existent fact?
and if this is reality then why people call dreams are delightful?
this reality...this existence...is divine..
i want to live in it..forever...
and what if it is a dream...
a splendid, fascinating dream...
then i admit i am getting addict to its exquisiteness...
and no matter what..i never want to wake up..ever...

December khaas hai Jaana!!

saray he maheenon main
boht mumtaaz hai Jaana...
December khaas hai Jaana!!

Boht rangeen se subhain,
madhoshi se bhari shaamein..
unhi shaamon main,
tery aa janay ki aas hai Jaana..
December khaas hai Jaana!!

Dopehrain khoi khoi see,
wo raatein soyi soyi se,
kbhi chanda, kbhi tara,
kbhi aakaash hai Jaana..
December khaas hai Jaana!!

Shokh o shang hawaon ka,
wo madham se sadaaon ka,
wo hidat se dharakty,
2 diloon ka saaz hai Jaana..
December khaas hai Jaana!!

Kaye guzray hawalon ka,
kuch nut khat sawalon ka,
naye din ki sada,
naye milan ka aghaaz hai Jaana..
December khaas hai Jaana!!

~ MSM ~

Becoming Mrs Maria Umer....

*and i am dedicating this post to you SJ *

my chacha *who was my wakeel* asked:
'Maria Shaffaq Malik kia apko Muhammaed Umer Salim se Nikkah qabool hai? '
i was shivering....was so nervous and confuse..was experiencing vigorous palpitation...the concerns for the new life...new family...n him...there were hundreds of thoughts in my mind at that moment yet was numb enough to focus on a single thing...
and i nodded my head and answered with the trembling tone  'Qabool hai...' 
chacha asked again..
'Maria Shaffaq Malik kia apko Muhammaed Umer Salim se Nikkah qabool hai? 'i replied:
 'Qabool hai...' and for the last and final time, he asked:
'Maria Shaffaq Malik kia apko Muhammaed Umer Salim se Nikkah qabool hai? '
and for once n for al i said:
 'Qabool hai!! '

and i was declared as wife of Muhammad Umer Salim...
but doing that sign on Nikkahnama and saying this Qabool hai are not the signs of owning this title...
being declared as Mrs Maria Umer and becoming Mrs Maria Umer is entirely different...
how?
let me tell u..
becoming Mrs Maria Umer is my story...little yet life changing journey..

the day i was informed about ur proposal, i was told that 'He is a sober, religious and nice person'..
then after my parents get back from his place..they have a very positive opinion about him..
it was:
'Beta that guy is more like one who cares for family. for her sisters. seems pretty decent and is into religion as well. we found him overall good but the decision is totally up to u. if u want to meet or talk before deciding anything u can n be sure ur decision will be the final thing. no pressure nothing. '
and right then after 5 days he came to meet me..
and that was the first time i felt maybe we're supposed to meet one two or a few wrong people before meeting the right one so when we finally meet the right one, we'll know how to be grateful for it...
till today i haven't said it SJ...But at the verge of ending this year and beginning a new one with u, i would like to say it all that i might not be able to say right in front of u..
u knw SJ...at the very first glimpse..the thing that caught my eyes was the mehraab of sujood at ur forehead...right above ur kind eyes...i've always heard true beauty cannot be seen but found within the soul...and i can say that yes SJ i looked deep into ur soul..it's the soul behind the eyes...ur eyes..ur kind eyes..beautified by the glorious sign of sujood...do i need any other sign of ur beauty? No m not sinister to call it a mark coz for me its a glorious gift by Allah to His followers..the pious ones :) ...it was over whelming SJ..
and ur soft healing tone...something new, something sweet...that was lifting me off my feet..
and ur soft healing tone...something new, something sweet...that was lifting me off my feet..
i told you that my past has darkness...i dont have regrets but u should be aware of it...and the way u responded...with kindness, love, care n concern...it reflects the pureness of ur soul SJ..and i never had felt that much peace in my heart...
and from Qabool hai till this moment..many things have changed..
right in the middle of most chaotic phase...u relived me SJ...ur kind eyes...ur soothing words...thy acted like a magical ointment...and i felt live again...
SJ u made me believe there is someone waiting to show, how true love is meant to go. Willing to fight for me & hold on tight...and never let me fall prey of this cruel world..who know how to love me, respect me and treat me right...
u're like the ocean SJ..pretty enough on the surface, but when one dive down into ur depths thy'll find beauty most people never see..and i count myself in those few lucky ones who actually made it there :)
some people have such a beautiful spirit...like urs..
you changed my mind..my heart..that was so scared of implanting seeds of love again..but made me believe in the beauty of a pure soul, a pure heart and a pure love that is putted in by Allah SWT Himself...
and now whenever i think about u, I can't help but smile *blush*
and when I smile, people think I've done something wrong or am up to something lol :P Life is funny that way..credit goes to u ;)
and while being with u when I see ur smile it makes me smile... :) especially when i know i m the one that put it there :) *i guess*
and SJ my heart know it very well,
that right now this new relation may be "something" but I can see it becoming "everything" very soon <3 In sha Allah :)
and I do know that, each day, you mean a little bit more to me.. more mine than before...
I will be forever grateful to Allah SWT for choosing me to become Mrs Maria Umer..
being wife of the one with the love for her that shines from his heart n for the beautiful glow of his soul which dignifies how loving n humble person my SJ is... :)
*proud and contended*
May Allah keep us en-wrapped in His blessings..today n every coming day..ameen :)

and YOUR name is written on my hands today!!

'whats his name?'
this was the third time she asked me...
why are u asking me? is it required?
she replied..
'Yes! we put the groom's name on the bride's hand to let them feel that Allah SWT have connected the lines in their hands  and from now and on they will always be joined by the fate...In sha Allah'
i smiled back..
she looked at me n said..'sada suhagan raho'
i laughed and said..
'there are 2 days left'
she smiled with the eyes filled with motherly love and whispered in my ears..
'joray aasmaanon per banty hain..or tmhara ban gya hai..tm usky leay or wo tmhary leay likh dia gya hai..or ye looh e mehfooz main safe hai..'
i keep on looking at her with the amused expressions but a revealing frame of mind..
more like state of realization..
What do you think my chances were, of finding a destined soul mate in the group of so many people?
all with reflected goodness and human-being-ness but not the soul destined to fit with mine?
to make harmony with my heartbeats?
and i used to think, I'll be lucky if I can just find someone who'll be able to stand me for the rest of 'our' lives....
What if I've already told the other part of persona and the true-self is beneath the layers of soberness and seriousness.. because I was relying on some sort of spark I didn't feel earlier...
and now..
It suddenly made sense...
only once in my entire life I've felt this inexplicable,
 almost mystical and unpredictable feeling....
and i thought it remarkable, to have found last lost piece of the puzzle,
when in my heart I'd always believed there were only reflections of that one precious piece out there for me..but not the last lost yet the one dreamed for..
when its from destiny, made above the sky...it embraces ur heart with the pure feelings of contentment and serenity...
that perception of fulfilment and sense of gratification is poured in ur blood by Allah SWT..
yes i can feel it flowing with my blood..My heart had been wrong...I'm not alone at all..There was not only one but two...
and i know now, thats YOU!!

Meet MSM :D

I'm a bubbly person who sees life as a venue for having fun, to live it all up and to be reckless without worries. To be free and fun-loving, optimistic and feel blessed everyday of life 'coz we're alive and we have the chance to enjoy all that it has to offer.

I make friends super-easily, but then you guys already know that! :P

I love hanging out with my friends and gossiping about things and oh! I LOVE SHOCKING PEOPLE! :D
You ain't gonna find anybody who can give you a shocker within seconds of meeting ya ;)
I'm a cracked nut. I just happen to be loud and boisterous at times. (most of those times tend to last long with uncontrollable and annoyingly-unbearable-stomach-ache-inducing fits of laughter with my best friends =D. MAYNNN! You just gotta love your besties!)
Amazingly, I'm soft-spoken and a gentle person to balance it.
*Confusing, I know xD*

I'm hell naughty and mischievous, but then again, I'm a just ME, so yeah, everything goes, doesn't it? =D

I'm curious about everything and I mean EVERYTHING. There's nothing
I'm not intrigued with. I love getting to know new things.

I love being productive, so you're all gonna find me always busy doing different things. Buzzzzzz!

I happen to be everybody's best pal. And I almost always have a solution to everyone's problems, except mine =\


I love trying out new things. Anything that's a bit risky, or seems intriguing .... You got the green light to count me in!

I live to devour books. I'm a book junkie (literally =\)
I.Love.Books.
Gimme anything and I'm going to sit down right there and not get up until I've finished it.

I love chilling with my buddies and my family. Can't get enough of 'em! Love you guys to bits ^_^ ♥

Umm... I'm randomly random. Prone to mood swings. A drama queen when I wanna be. Friendly from the top of my head to the tips of my multicoloured (oh-so-cute-at-the-moment) socks!

I love English movies. Hate the cliche Indian ones though.
I like to think I have a constantly evolving musical taste. I love Music. Dunno what I'd do without it!

I'm a bossy maniac at times. I.need.perfection. Or as close to perfection as can be. Nothing less. The best out of everyone.

And yeah, i almost NEVER get into trouble at school or anywhere ... *grins toothedly*
'Coz I got the face of an angel and everybody gotta love me ;) ♥
So I'm an angel with horns (to keep my heavy goodness halo up)

So that's about enough of an intro, I guess.
Talk to ya soon.
And yeah, GET OFF MA PROFILE YOU STALKER(which you gotta be, 'coz you still reading ma info)! :P

P.S. Did I mention I'm hyper? xD

A DAD’S SPEECH AT HIS DAUGHTER’S WEDDING

Dear son-in-Law,

I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!

I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy!

She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy!

If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her—please keep her happy!

I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy.

Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy”!

-- Dedicated to all fathers

*courtesy: Anonymous*

~ ba'naam e yaar ~

Tarz e Mukhatib e Yaar ki, ab guftugu hum kia kren,
Jee main hai k aj kal, bus unko he socha kren..

pur-shooq se nazroon ki un gehraiyoon main doob kr,
jhilmilaty aqs per bus khud ko he dekha kren..

deed ko dildaar k hum intezaar krty hain,
ae nazar jo yaar tou nazrain meri sajda kren..

Jaan k anjaan ban'na shaan e beniyazi se,
is ada e yaar per hum or bhi tarpa kren..

Mujh ko mujh se cheenti, jadoo bhari awaz se,
naam o nishaan janab ka, her waqt he pocha kren..

kbhi tou katay na katay, waqt e tamana e wisaal,
or kbhi tou hijr kou, hum aap he tarsa kren!!

~MSM~

~ Mera Khuwaab ~

I used to write poems..*few years back*..and today i'm feeling the urge to write again..

Ae kaash aesa ho k sitaroon ka jahan ho,
Mohabbat k undekhy hisaaron ka jahn ho..

Chahat k, Ulfat k guloon se banay chaman,
bheeni see mehkii see baharoon ka jahan ho..

Nafrat ka koi jhonka na guzar pae udher se,
Sulagtii hue qurbat k hararoon ka jahan ho..

Chalty chalty yun hi barhta jae kaarwaan,
Apnon k, Pyaroon k saharoon ka jahan ho!!


~MSM~

piece for friends :) - 10th Nov 2013

Today is one of the beautiful day 
and for me its more beautiful as my dear ones are celebrating the newest yet happiest phase of their life...
Seeing two of my girlfriends Hajra and Sweett Doll cheerishing the one year anniversory of their cinderella wedding at one end made me contended whereas on the other end the unlocking of the most enchanting phase of life 'being engaged' of my chotu sa bhai Anas Ansari left a big ear to ear smile on my face 
And i look around seeing people tieing new ties...falling in love...making new promises...celebrating the success of their love...make me wonder that people always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t?
Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person...
But what i feel is that’s not the clever trick...
The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws?
Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’?
Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you...
As Einstein said:
'Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.'
and that is something i wish you to be aware of....
to avoid...
to prevent..
Just look at the positive sides 
and i know you all are already blessed  so why not to always, yes i mean always, seek the radiant sides of your partner..
So that I will be as happy as i'm now in congratulating you all on the celebration of your love even after 100 of years 
and i conclude my love, prayers and heartiest wishes for you in the words of Khalil jibran...
'Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow...'
May Allah SWT bless you all with a blessed life, embrace you with happiness and bestow you with His heavely bounties...Forever