~ Pre-Wedding Intuitions ~

Just few moments before she was the happiest bride to be..but after reading a note she's al numb to the feelings and happenings around..have a lot to say..but was right on the fact that things should better left unsaid...so all I wana say is: 'I wish ur real world be as beautiful as ur imaginary one coz I know how it breaks one when all u get is illusions instead of reality'
Love you!

~ tasting helplessness ~

They say coz you're once into the situation that has stamped you with degradation...
is why you'll always taste bitter rejection ahead...
the feeling of helplessness is possessing her...
all entrapped by the fear of her nightmares coming alive...
all paralyzed...
forsaken and forlorn ...
handcuffed and blindfolded at the median with thorns...
walking without knowing where she'll fall...
as both sides are pulling her towards it...
both sides making her go sick and used..
but she don't care...
she's not scared as she has been here once...
long long ago...
that time she lost just herself..
but if it goes like this for long...
she'll lose her heart...her soul...herself...
forever!

~ a diary from 05-05-14 ~

finally...
i'm officially Maria Umer :)
this is so emotional yet pleasant...
and my permanent address shifted to urs...
i actually wanted them to write 'in Sj's heart' at the permanent address column but they can never understand the depth in it :)
but most importantly..
i saw you after soooo many days...
it was so refreshing...
so rejuvenating...
so warming...
yet seductive in its weird way ;)
you looked tired, yet attractive...it was hard to resist you with so many people around...
ur cute ways of saying...'dump me if u want to but i'll still love u always' was creating some melting effect and leaving a deep impact on my nerves...
making me want to hold you and tell you...
dear love i'll never dump you or leave you or push ypu or knock you down...
ur my crown and mean to be placed proudly on my head...
i'll prefer to break my self down just to keep you high...
the day i said 'i do'...i knew...that...from now and on...
ur respect is my respect...
ur honour is my honour...
ur name is now mine too...
ur home is mine as well...
and so does ur heart,love and soul :)
love ya my honey bunch xoxo :*

~ I don't know you yet I know you ~

Dear Love,

I don't know you...
but it seems perfect..
n everything is good..when we are both together...
i feel you are my home...i found the peace I have been longing all my life for...
I'm always excited to see you...
never bored of our talks..our songs...
always loving your smile...your kind eyes...
humble n gentle ways of dealing with me...
loving tone of assuring me ur love..ur sincerity...ur faithfulness...
ahh that always left my heart touched n filled with love...
Yeah like I said I don't know you...but it seems fine...
n everything is good...when I'm with you...
i feel you're my comfort zone...
the soothing place where I can be myself...the kind of love I was looking for...
n i found myself always running to you..in good n in bad...
never lonely when we are together...
always loving each other...n feeling loved in return...
And I don't know you...
but wherever you find yourself at the point of not knowing anything, I want you to know that I'm grateful to Allah SWT for you...
i accept you in your totality..as I found you beautiful..y
ou shine bright..searing like a morning star...
And I don't know you...but I love every part of you...
even those aspects of you that you doubt and those you wana keep in dark...
And I don't know you...
but I love that we're synchronized with the fabric of these words and letters I write for you...n you for me...
And I don't know you...but every mark and scar on your body...
every trauma etched into your soul make me vibrate with love towards you...
you radiate aliveness in me...through every misplaced hair and casually natural ways of yours...
And I don't know you...but I love you coz you're the light that brighten me..
those eyes, the mirror of my own existence...knowing I'm loved too..
heart to heart..
soul to soul..
And when I say I don't know you it defines how negligent you're for yourself...
You don't even know yourself...
cz u don't see yourself in the same light as I see you in...
the same light that shows ur kalon..n every part of you that I've grown so fondly of!!!

With love,
From your Love :)