and the struggle begin against ur own protector!!

Booking the Venue.. CHECK!

Arrangement for the Caterer.. CHECK!
Makeover.. CHECK!
Dress selection.. CHECK!
Invitations.. CHECK!
Calling Qazi Sahab.. CHECK!
Nikkahnamma review.. NEVER DONE!!!
It’s hard to overstate the importance of this seemingly simple two-page document that requires as little as the testimony of two witnesses and the consent of the couple. At the very least, the nikahnama deserves some contemplation on your part, and an effort to gain a basic understanding of what all the clauses it contains entail....
so i was looking for my responsibilities and roles, in accordance with Islam, for my new life when i came across the portion of my rights that can be quoted on nikkahnama, which were neglected and over-looked on purpose...
purpose of image consciousness...purpose of 'duniya kia kahey gii'...
purpose of 'inlaws kia sochengy'...
but for me..
its not about greed...not about image...not about being cunning...surely its not...
but its more about availing my rights while performing my duties and working on responsibilities with the fear of Allah in my heart...
I always wanted to fill it myself in consent with my to be groom...coz Shariah allows me to do it...
and if anyone fears that i will abuse it...tou i can only request to be considerate...if i fear Allah and follow Shariah in this regard then i will fulfill my responsibilities and duties with even more fear of being convict of not doing em properly...
Its more about trusting me with my intentions towards my demand of rights provided i am trusting the other person and family with my life..if one cannot trust on my intentions and can misjudge it with greed then how can expect me to judge his intentions as care instead of lust...simple as that..demand of rights and their approval involve humility not humiliation...
but again culture have an upper hand over Shariah..and that is saddening!!
when i stood up against useless expenses to be made on Nikkah ceremony, got scolded and made to sit coz of the cultural n social fears of being accused is was somehow understandable.. but when it came to my islamic and legal rights i was again scolded and made to sit for the same reason...and this is not legitimate to me...
more resistance than that i had faced for my decision for taking Hijaab *sigh*
DISAPPOINTMENT AT ITS PEAK!!
Apart from the right of taking 'khulla' (divorce) on certain conditions like if abused or beaten up and the issues of Haq meher there are other rights we can claim too that are given to us by Shariah as well...
There are clauses and documents you can even attach to the nikahnama. You may set an amount of money that you want from your husband as allowance every month. This could be any amount decided between you and your prospective husband. Interestingly, the girl may challenge in court years down the line that the allowance spelled out in the nikahnama is not sufficient to meet her expenses and be revised keeping in mind inflation and her growing needs. Some people go as far as to include a clause that in the case of a separation or divorce the husband will pay her a certain sum of money, or a clause regarding who is going to get the custody of children if there is a breakup. So long as the documents do not run contrary to law, such clauses are acceptable in the court.
The nikahnama is one of the few things that are left to the last minute, when there is hardly enough time for the girl to deliberate over it – even though it is the one document that ensures your marital rights...
Hence, all i wanted was would be to take charge, read it and fill it myself...
To be aware of what rights i have, and able to ask for what is rightly mine....
But alas...no luck..
Its all right..and true...the predictions are true...that there will come a time when ummah will fear more for society than Allah...and implementing Islam and Shariah in one's life will be so challenging..
And now i'm sitting aside...knowing that bringing up this topic again will be troublesome..and will not be appreciated by my own protecters...
all i can do now is to promise myself that i will not let my son to go for cultural norm but Shariah!!
and i wish my WALI didn't get caught up in culture!
*sigh*

[photo courtesy: The Express Tribune, Ms T, July 8^th, 2012.]

P.S:
This issue was shared over a feminine forum (screen shot shared) and i was so depress when i came to know I'm not alone in this...its not about judging intentions as greed or rights to exercise autocracy but to avail the opportunities that Allah SWT have grant us...I pray Allah to make me capable of giving my son the strength to stand with Shariah and not letting this happen with my daughter-in-law to be...ameen