Monday, December 9, 2013

my personal 'once in a lifetime' kinda rishta experience lol

this post is my experience with meri hoty hoty reh janay wali saas :D *for which i thank Allah and pity on one jo unki bahu banegi* ...and m posting this not to make u all laugh *only* but as a lesson tht none of us will be as lame as she was *i'm sure none will but as per words of someone i knw saas ban kr insan usually sensible nhe rehta..maybe its hard to carry the label of saas n sense at the same time LOL*
(NOTE: this time no sorry for lambi post coz mainy lambi he likhni hai...dil ki bharass choti main nhe nikalni so jo bigarna bigaar lo -_- )
haan tou scene starts jb meri ek adad neighbor called my mom and said unki ek relative hain wo apny betay ka rishta dekh rhe hain and since we like maria so much *i like her too and damn tht her son is still in sckool :D wrna as per her words mainy unki bahu ban'na tha* so i've recommended her to visit your home...meri amma said 'jii acha mgr larka kia krta hai family kesi hai etc etc'...she replied 'bus wo 20-25 min main apky ghar pohanch rhe hain wo log meri trf aa rhe thy tou mainy kaha k 3 ghar chor kr he hai larki bhi dekh len so plz mana nhe kren..myri trf dinner hai unka so wo 15 min main he dekh lengy'...khair after arguing n unky insist per mom agreed...and then mje sotay main se jagaya n told me tht all n myriii gandi shakal n weirdo waly tough looks ko completely ignore krty hue apny mom order mode ko ON krlia :/ n majboran mje agree hona pra :/
*this happens on last friday...a day before hum picnic se ae thy n i was sick with fever oper se picnic k bad wali afro shakal...ahhh*
in a nutshelll...wo khatoon apny ghar k mard hazraat ko drop kr k apni bari bahu sath tashreef laen..dekhny main he full time nou dolateay pana tapak rha tha...n unki bahu was bit sensible...n atay he mom ko bolen aap bus larki ko bula len :D n thn hue meri entry *attitude main bina sir per dupatta rkhy main mazay se casually ja kr beth gae taaddaaa* n thn start huay kisi third rate flop comedy movie k clips...
phly tou dono saas bahu mje non stop tarnay lagen *n this thing always irritate me like hell* n thn pehla sawal... *lets call her TBS - to be saas in short*
TBS: silai ati hai?
Me: nhe anty
TBS: q nhe ati?
Me: anty interest nhe
TBS: larkion ko ani cheay chalo tailor se kapry silwa leay mgr jbhi khud thori bht krni parjae tou kia krogi
Me: anty utni ati hai mje -_-
TBS: naam kia hai?khana pkana ata hai?
Me: Maria naam hai..jii atta hai
TBS: lgta tou nhe hai...MBA ki parhai k sath khana n ghar dari kesy
meri MOM: ye Ma sha Allah 7th class se he kitche smbhalti hai q k main bht bemaar rehti the
TBS: *face expressions changed to soft drooling one* acha acha ye tou bht achi baat hai...beta kofty kesy bnati ho?
Me: *with WTH look* anty is trha *telling recipe*
TBS: *more cheeni ko dekh kr makhi waly expressions* Ma shaa Allah haan sahi bnati hogi...ye btao ghar k kaam kr leti ho?
Me: ji anty..but krti nhe coz we've maid
TBS: oh acha acha tou massi hata do na khud kia kro or dubli hojao gi
Me: *with mind ur own damn business look* anty i workout...n wesy bhi m not fat jo main massi hata don..
My ammi: han han Ma sha Allah 3 ghanty workout krleti hai
Me: *with whats wrong woth u mom look* krti the...ab bus half hour..tht too 3-4 times a week..q k busy hoti hun
Unki Bahu: nhe tmhy zrort tou nhe...u look good
TBS: nhe but iski ammi kam hain n ye sadia thori chori hai
*n in real mom never gt fit in my clothes but her clothes are loose on me :P *
Meri MOM: sadia nhe maria or ye apni bari phupi per gae hai iski bones broad hain
TBS: nhe magr meri bari bahu ko dekhen isny kitna maintain kia hua hai
Unki bahu: but ammi wo broad hai fat nhe n mera structure narrow hai
Me: *thinking anty aap bipasha ki haddi ko amrita rao se na milaen* anty main broad hun and main aesi he hun
TBS: acha acha...asal main aj main apna chashma lana bhool gae so dikh nhe rha sahi se... *to my mom* aap mje apna number de den paper per..
(mom went out)
TBS stood up and literally myry mou per aa kr meri shakal dekh rhein n said main zara qareeb se dekh lun
Unki bahu: ammi ap baraber main beth kr araam se dekh len
(and she sat next to me)
TBS: tmhari ammi tou sanwali hain or tm gori ho...tmhary abbu goray hain?
Me: *stayed quite and gave a pissed look to her bahu*
TBS: kia naam btaya?
Me: *sarri hue tome main* maria
TBS: *shakal dekhny got into my face...itna close k mje sirf unki ek ankh dikh rhe the* han ankh naak naksha tou acha hai...make up b nhe hai..rang b saaf hai...
(and then she moved her hands on my hairs...sir se end kamar tk) baal bhi achy hain... bhaween *eyebrows* nhe banwati?
Me: *trying hard to control myself from uttering a word but i really wanted to say haath na lgaen extensions hain gir jaengi :/ * jii nhe
TBS: wah bhaeee aj kal tou bachi bachi banwati hai
(my mom entered and unka hath myry shoulder per jesy friends k hota hai)
Meri Mom: *giving confused look* ye len number
TBS: bhaeee mje tou madiha pasnd ae hai
Unki Bahu: ammi maria
TBS: *mje mohabbt bhari nazron se dekhty hue* ...acha ye btao 6 month hain shadi main kitni kam hojaogi?
Meri Mom: *confused and apni adat se majbor k ghar ae mehman ki izzat kro :/ n for the first time i had complain on her such manners*
Me: 1 month main hojaon? -_-
TBS: ary nhe nhe 6 month main krlo
Me: nhe anty ek month lgega bones turwa kr choti krwany main -_-
Meri Mom: *still confuse*
Unki bahu: yr mind nhe krna ammi dil ki saaf hain and kuch b keh deti hain
TBS: aray tm naraz nhe ho...abhi se naraz hogae? mje tou tm bht pasnd ae ho..naam kia btaya tha? *unki bahu said maria* haan maria mje bht achi lagi ho sb perfect hai bus dubli hojao
Me: *looking around for dewaar jahn apna sir mar lun ya unka*
TBS: acha suno *to her bahu* iski pic lay lo and id bhi n isko b pic bhej dena..n meri trf se haan hai baki ap mje kal tk btaden
Meri Mom: *still confuse* ji acha main inky papa se poch lun
TBS: ye ghar apka hai? *thy live in flat*
My mom: yes Allah ka shukar hai
TBS: kitny rooms hain?
Me *thinking* jitny bhi hon aap k leay ek kona bhi hargiz nhe hai :/
TBS: main dekhlun? mje bht acha lg rha hai
Meri mom: wo ander inky abbu wgera bethy hain
TBS: oh acha cha chalen main yahen se jhank leti hun
(me n mom looking at each other k Ya Allah ye kia film hain..n unki bahu ankhen chura rhe hmsy)
TBS: ghar tou bht acha hai * then hugged me* Allah naseeb achy kry naraz nhe hona mgr tmhary pas 6 month hain maira
Me: MARIA naam hai mera
TBS: han han ab tou meri beti ho na
Meri mom: *confuse and numb k ye chal kia rha*
Unki bahu: hugged me n said sorry in my ears
and they left....
bech main kuch or scene hue bt thy didnt worth sharing...
now main bahar ae n ghusay se dad ko shikayt n thn mom get to knw k ho kia rha tha hahhahahaha dad got pissed n mom called hmari neighbor n rakh kr sunai unhen k ye kia qurbani ka janwer dekh rhe thein...she said tou apny usi waqt nikal dena tha ghar se k apko tameez nhe..my mom said main apky relative smjh kr khayal kr rhe the...tb un sahiba ny bola relative nhe old neighbors hain...n thn next day we recieved a call n myri mom ny sahi ki sunai n ye bola k meri beti ko aap pasnd nhe aen...wo aesi illmannered family main nhe jana chahti... so hum interestd nhe :D :D
but i had better plans...hona ye chaeay tha k unky bety ko skype per bulati *Dubai hai hota wo* n camera close krwa krwa k baal khench k check krwati...dant ankh naak check krti...pochti k bartan dhonay atay..n thn mana krti -_- but thanks to meri mom k falsafayyy k ghar aya mehman Allah ki rehmat :/ chahy thy proved to be a zehmat HUH....

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