she knew it...
she indeed knew it very well...
she knew that all her humility will be counted as humiliation...
her fidelity taken as betrayal..
her sincerity considered as falsehood...
her love mistaken as animosity....
the saddened thoughts embraced her mind...
yet another defeat...another loss...
her heart clenched...and she tried to know what exactly it is?
how one cannot be considerate over the measures preventing massacre and can take it as setting back??
she was once again knocked...even hardly than before...
why?
why Allah?
why one can't see what i'm getting through? why one can't feel anything at all? why it is happening to me again?
she cried...
how one can dwell over one's own words like this?
mentioning to have not a single reason for the slaying of other in one moment and in the other moment marking the other equally responsible for the damage?
and percieve it as the cause of comfort for the other one in first place?
she wondered if anyone can see her heart...her dying heart...
how can she open her heart to anyone?
how can she make anyone see whats inside it?
She bent down in sujood, sobbed and mourned..
NO...THATS NOT TRUE..ALLAH YOU KNOW IT ALL RIGHT..O'ALLAH PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE MISTAKEN MY INTENTIONS OR ME WITH THIS BRUTALITY..
she never wanted to mention this ever...but she felt the need of it..
and she adrressed to em..
hit me...come...kill me...throw bricks at me...
and you will never be hit back with the same but always with love and wishes...
and she decided she will take all the bricks..will let them hit her...bruise her...and she will carry all those scars proudly on her face...forever!!
and...
no matter how one will keep her as a memory...she will not try to open her heart ever again...will not say a word to clear herself...will not try to prove anything at all...she will keep it all locked in her heart now...she's agreived...she's contused...her heart ache with the illusions she saw...
and she knew she will never be same again..ever...
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