tragedy of being a candle

and she free her heart from all agony, pain and hurt of being left...
the moment she heard that voice...
that mesmerizing voice...that acted like a voodoo before..and yet again..
she was possessed with the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either herself high n happy or to save others...each n everyself...except her ownself... 
and she was afraid of her own eyes...one view...just one view will ruin the barriers she's keeping to break the flow of the storm inside...
but she wasn't blind enough to foresee...
destruction of that barrier would have cost lives....lives of her loved ones...and pride of him somehow...the ones who owe her big time...and the one she cares for...
and thus she declared 'forgiveness'...
forgiveness to be given for past and taken for the future...
And then she prayed for his wholeness......
his happiness...without her...
she seek Allah's help for it...and made a deal of letting him go..not at a cost of her own happiness...but for lives of people she owes...
and to trade back his smile...to be shared with someone else...with those enchanting shinning eyes laid upon another self...except her ownself!!
She murmed...
not a bad deal at all....
how can be making all smile be a bad deal?
although she know...he will be taking this as humiliation rather than humility...
as betrayal rather than fidelity...
But...Allah is watching it all...
she cried and said:
O'Allah...u can see whats inside my heart...you can see it well...
you know the fairness of deal Allah...
don't let me fail in it...its like risking everything...
or do i got anything to risk?
yes...
happiness of the ones i care for...each n every self...except her own self!!