aggrieved and mutilated..
"It was my idea. It's the safest way to mould myself into the one you craves for, one you wants me to be like but its strangly woeful...pretending to be something different...Someone I can't be...And it kept me from being real, the one who really do love you...resulting in falling apart...Yes now it's like there's a glass wall between us...Like I can't touch you or ... reach you and I admit the fact I don't like the way it feels..Can i ever got immune to this feeling? anti-agonized?"
Her eyes were all swollen coz of sobbing all night long ..
"Its awful, she cried, awful, awful!"
She wanted to shout,,
to yell at him,,
to scream and mourn over the damage he had done to her,,,
to say this all to him..
"Your mean behavior and constant temper tantrums have wretched me....still you’re in my blood...spreading through my heart— pumping me numb and insane!! you didn't break my heart, you tortured me and for what? to tear me down just to build me up again? so you can have me...all of me to be played with..unlike other gamers you've never been unpridictable in your deadly patterns..but I pity myself for being so obsessed with your venom that make me overlook the trap right infront of me and still i say i'm okay.. is that what you really want me to say? "
And then she looked outside the window,,,
she saw the moon...
the moon that have witnessed his promises..
his words...
and something inside of her churned,,
swallowing hard she looked up again and squeezed her eyes shut,,,holding back the tears and emotions that were swelling inside of her...And then she realized, the only time that she could feel anything at all, was when she could feel him.”
She has been trying to pull her worth from him for so long...
to extract her beauty from his skin...
She has been dying to be loved the way she do...
but he will always leave her empty...
and so does him pointless and meanless sorries..
and the words from some story echoed inside her head,
...stiff apology is a second insult...the injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt...Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living worthwhile...
*beep* *beep*
her mobile light up showing a new text with his name..
she read it loud like she was telling it to herself,
I LOVE YOU..
she swallowed hard and looked deep into the eyes of his illusion..so intensely, she tried hard not to look away...she didn’t want him to see how mildly scared of him she was...she wiped her tears away and answered his text:
I LOVE YOU TOO AND WILL ALWAYS DO...
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