her dark numb mind was regaining the ability to feel that ongoing spontaneous chronic pain...
she tried to recall, how i get here?
you were shot...hit with brutality...smashed cruelly...and was left to die...she was told..
she tried to look around to find him but saw none else but herself...all bruised..blue..his favourite color...she remembered...
suddenly she felt if someone is cutting out small pieces of her flesh with a pointed sharpened knife...continously..
keeping her drowned in her own blood...red...her favourite color...
not killing her at all...in a single attempt...
infact,
keeping her alive to taste the soreness...and to endure it in conciousness...
she asked, is this a torture?
no...
they say its a treatment!
to drain out the poisoned blood out of her so that her dead heart can be detoxified...so that it can be alive again...
able to pump the fresh, naive blood to her face..to make ur cheeks flushed with life once again...
Why?
Do they really feel she want to live again?
and they think that she will ever wish to experience the journey of life...the phenomena of living it again?
coz if they are trying to make it happen, it shows they want her to do it all over again...
to believe in it again...to live it again...to get through it again...
But did any of them know if she want to do it again?
to start a new journey..another attempt for survival..with a new companion...on an unfamiliar road...
she shouted...No I don't!!
How can I? How will I?
and they say: you've to...this is how you should live...try it out with a different companion who can guard you well...who can take care of ur broken fragile heart...and not all the journies end like this...not all the travellers face the betrayals...not all die an un-natural death...
she turned and asked: you guarantee?
they stayed quite...and said: we had seen u dying...you were dead...we brought you back to life...we guarded you throughout your recovery...
you think i'm recovered? she asked...
you will...they say...
she asked: then y not the attempt for that same road i'm well familiar with? where i had seen the green blooming fields too among the deadly thunders....but i had witnessed the existence of spring too...though rare w.r.t the frozen heartless winters...why not that road again? ...
now can you guarantee that will not be repeated? you will not be shot and left to die again? answer us...who was there when u were dying a tragedic death? him?..haven't you already tried to reach ur destiny through that road by attempting it again n again? wht u got everytime? hurt and pain...and most of all who brought u back to life? so be fair and say who owe to choose ur roads nw?
and her mind flashed back with all the attempts she had made that ended in vain...
she felt the pain...the stabs...the hurt...
and she realized no she no more own herself...and she know... her heart is pumping no more....her cheeks are no more flushed....
her mind fell somewhere in the darkness...
all frozen...all numb...all defeated...her soul left the residue of her body behind..and..
she surrendered to her saviors!!
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